Handfasting

Marriage seems to be on everyone's lips these days. Who should have it, who shouldn't, and who created it. It seems as if everyone has an opinion about it, even people that blatantly do not want it. When people think of weddings they think of beautiful brides in gossamer, sparkling gowns, vases full of roses, glittery invitations, cake, and tons of food. People are usually excited to be there and more excited to go home and slip into clothing more suited to Savannah's balmy climate. So with all of the chatter about marriage, I couldn't resist sticking my two cents in.

Lughnassadh (August 01) is right around the corner and with it Pagan brides around the world are planning simple weddings called handfastings. Marriages were not always complicated affairs. They were very often not even with human spouses. The first marriages, in every culture and every religion, was between the Priests and Priestesses and their gods. These marriages weren't literal of course, but significant just the same. Priests and Priestesses or sometimes just Priestesses depending upon the god in question and the culture, engaged in communion with their Patron god. In turn, they would receive and relay wisdom and messages gleaned from the experience. In later times, Celtic Kings would receive their territory by engaging in communion (read relations) with the aspect of the Goddess that presided over that area.

Between mere mortals, handfasting began as a promise or betrothal for two people to marry and thus binding two families. The term itself comes from Old Norse "hand festa", or the grasping of two hands together to seal a promise. In some older biblical texts dating about c. 1200, Mary is said to be "handfast to a good man named Joseph." showing the importance and history of this ritual as the term "handfast" was passed down from the Norse to Anglo Saxons. Although this form of marriage is found primarily in pre-Christian British Isles, Germanic tribes also celebrated this form of union between families. Betrothed couples would gather and the Shaman, Priest, or Priestess would bind their hands together and they would enter into a period of a year and a day. During this period they would live together as a recognized couple. After the year and a day, should they wish to go their separate ways they could, but if they wished to stay together they would rebind their hands and their relationship was publicly decreed as binding.

Today we can easily make or create cords, usually long braids of ribbon with charms and beads at both ends, but in the old days the cords were actually the crois, or the belt worn around the waist of the groom. It was usually a part of his family's tarlton and woven from wool. At the end of the year and a day, colors from both sides of the family would be woven together to form a wide band that would be knotted around both of their right hands, hence the phrase "tying the knot".

Before the bride and groom would come into the ceremonial space, certain preparations had to be made. One of those involved created a tool for cleansing the space from oak branch and an herb called broom. Broom is a long, thin herb with a sweet fragrance that grows in profusion all over the British Isles. The herb was harvested and attached to the oak branch, an act intended to simulate the binding of man and woman, the god and Goddess. The area would be fragranced with flowers and the bride, groom, and guests would often wear bands of flowers and herbs in their hair. This was done to protect the guests and the betrothed couple from evil spirits and baneful Fae that were drawn to young men and women. To add an extra kick, the bride would often carry a posy picked from wild flowers and herbs for protection. This belief carried through until the onset of the Medieval period when the need to mask body odor was more important than protection from mischievous Fae. After the ritual was performed, the young couple would then "jump the broom" or hop over the broom to ensure fertility, good health, and to petition the blessings of the Goddess.

At the first handfasting, the bride and groom would often present gifts to each other. Sometimes it would be something as simple as a red string with knots ( a form of prayer beads to the Goddess) that would be tied and worn around the wrist. In some cases, women would cut the widest portion of her thimble and would offer it to her groom. Long before this, in ancient Egypt, gifts of rings were given as engagement gifts and worn on the left hand to symbolize eternal life and also to empower the ring as they believed the veins from the heart were the strongest in the left hand. Since love was thought to originate within the heart, it was a token of eternal love and devotion. Although the Romans and Greeks were not known for their devotions, they also gave rings as engagement gifts. In the early 12th century when handfastings were made illegal unless performed in a church by a Christian priest, it was a matter of theocratic law that couples wait a certain amount of time before being married. The rings were a token of the time period they had to wait although, only the wealthy could afford to be married in the church and only the wealthy wore the rings during this time.

Lughnassadh is a time of the year for bread making, baking, and planning to bake for Autumn celebrations. Lughnassadh is the first of Autumn celebrations and the first of the three Harvest celebrations. Bread is a big part of that. To a Pagan it's a big more than just baking. Bread is both an offering and symbolic of the god growing older, passing into the Earth, and being reborn. The bread symbolizes his gift of nurturing through the eating of the bread. In some cases the wedding cakes or breads were actually pies stuffed with sweetmeats, fruit, and mutton. In ancient Rome, small cakes of sweetened bread were draped in honey and eaten at weddings to symbolize the same things but it also symbolized something else. It symbolized the loss of virginity and the submission of the wife to the husband. This is not the case in Celtic handfastings.

Handfastings in those days were bawdy affairs with the seriousness of ritual over and adult fun happening shortly afterward. Today we celebrate the relief after the seriousness and overwhelming emotions of a wedding with receptions where copious amounts of confections are eaten. Every wedding I have ever attended usually resulted in the happy couple shoving cake in the face of the other, sometimes simultaneously. It's a messy affair with sticky icing, crumbs, and gum paste roses ending up in hair, clothing, sometimes ears. In Scotland, sticky buns would often be prepared as well as loaves of bread. It was not uncommon for the groom to dump baskets containing the loaves over the brides' head. This tradition has somewhat fizzled out, but the gifting and eating of bread and bread-like creations remains today.

At the end of the day when celebrations were done, the bride and groom would retire for the beginning of their new life together. As a token, the couple was often gifted with mead, a sweet wine made from honey, and given a small cake made with honey. The couple were to remain together for at least a month away from their families and drink at least one cup of the mead every day of the first month. This is actually a Scandinavian custom but the ideal time for handfastings was Lughnassadh and mead would have already been plentiful as the Celts were preparing for the Lughnassadh games. Mead was also sacred to the god Lugh. The time away from the families and the imbibing of honeyed drinks and breads gave the time away the name of honeymoon.